Norge-III: 1 year and counting

It has been an year since I moved to Norway. After a year, how I feel is not as good as I imagined when i decided to leave the home country and go packing a year and 4 months before. I thought it would be easy.  I was hopeful. It was an adventure I wanted to try for it felt great to imagine. I had great expectations.  Guess I have to quote shakespeare and mention I agree 100%  "Expectations are the root of all heartache".  There is nothing much i can do about it.  Yes, Norway was just another country. It wasn't the exceptional paradise of a country which I was hoping for. The difference that was expected was not there and the difference that was unexpected was hard to digest.  It is not a bad thing. But not getting what you seek disappoints you. Not being able to  accept what you get disheartens you.

Of course, The cold-hearted Viking land can sap out your mental strength like anything, especially if you are trying to fit in. It is a hard place to try fitting in especially when you don't look like anything that will easily fit in. The problem with trying to fit in a lot is that you start to loose out on what you have and will not get to where you are trying to. You will find yourself lost in wilderness, like the person in "The Terminal" having gotten off the plane and being able to get out of the airport. In a culture you don't understand, which wouldn't easily take you in surviving can be hard.

When i packed my bags to Norway, I was confident I can fit in. Being half a sociophile, I was confident adjusting to Norway would be breeze. But it was not meant to be. The thing about norway is it has grown up against a lot of challenges and the culture has grown itself a shell to survive the difficulties like it's climate.geography, climate and what not. The shell itself has made them reserved. I find it hard to adjust to that attitude. To converse freely with a person when you are talking to him at work and to not even say a hi when you meet someone outside work related meeting. I cannot understand it at all. It is as if they maintain two worlds seperate from eachother. One work and One life. May be the lack of life because i have been working so much in Asia where it is not important has made me unable to comprehend the idea, but it is not something I can adapt with. It is hardly few familiar faces i see in this world. I would love to see a familiarity whenever i meet that person again. I guess the problem with me is I'm not a good adaptable person. I have my own stubbornness in understanding and adapting. I cannot lose myself adapting to surroundings. I have my individuality. It may be my blessing, my curse.

I would assume my shoes is what a lot of people can just dream of,  but as it is human nature, I cannot be satisfied with what I already have. It is definitely worth living however bad I feel about it. I have had a lot of fun over the last year, a week in spain, a weekend in Dubai, a day in Doha, couple of weeks in Brasil, a few trips inside Norway has always been lighting up my life occassionally. These fireworks that light up my life is better and bigger than before. It is something i will not have achieved unless I had ventured out here.  But it is not what i miss.. What i miss is the people i had around who lit up my life everyday no matter how little it was. It is the moments of little light in a dark room i miss. It is the darkness i fear.  It is that moments of darkness that disheartens me. I am looking for that candle that can light up the room, which I cannot find.

The question that keeps me wondering now.. is that whether i should give-up and try something else or keep trying. As a matter of fact, I do not know yet. A part of my heart is willing to give everything up and go searching for a new horizon may be a different venture , whereas other part of my heart inspires me stating all the facts and things i have pondered to keep trying, inspiring and thinking that i will get  better as I'm subjecting myself to a very hard phase in life by exporting myself into a culture unknown. May be it is just that part of my heart thinks that the other option is option is too much of a risk or may be it is right. I stand perplexed what i should do. Should i quit or just keep trying to adjust to it is a question that bothers me everytime. Only time will tell. I'm hoping it will tell.

This is dedicated to some people who have helped me keep positive providing that small sparks of light in the darkness that keeps me going...  and I wish that i get the mental strength to make my life extraordinary!!! :)

Tchau
 

Norge- 2! Post Winter Thoughts

It has been a while since i looked back at this blog. It is not the lack of time. It is rather the lack of peace that kept me from doing that. There are things that bother me a lot. There are things that keep me up. There are things that drag me down. there are things that nudge me eitherways.

I'm in a situation that many yearn, a few achieved. Still why am I not happy? I think i judged a few things wrongly. I judged a few things might be easy, but it was never. I wonder anybody reading this is concerned about it other than me.

The first and foremost thing i learned from my six months in norway is that immigration into a different culture is not fit for a social parasite like me. In india, travelling was never hard for me.. That kept me from being a parasite of the same set of people. I always had numbers to call and couches and beds to stay in most of the places in India. Now that i left India and is all alone in this alien country. I feel the loneliness. I'm ashamed of being a social parasite like before,because the lack of network i have here.

Winter was fun with a bit of skiing, a bit of snowboarding. It is nothing great, but it was me trying to fit in,making a fool of myself in front of everybody else. But then as time passes the feeling that i don't fit in here is just increasing. The thought about going back and settling into having a quiet life is increasing. For the winter, i have been trying to fit in. Now i'm starting to feel that i don't belong here.

The trip back to india was just a reminder how easy, how fun it was to be there. I'm exploring opportunities and trying to come up with ideas as to what to do and how to do it. Walking a lot, getting a cycle, welcoming the spring is what i'm doing now, trying to keep myself busy. Yes, I'm lonely. Why so_ becauseI'm someone with a lot of special needs and comfort zones for myself.  I don't like to be out of those comfort zones.

Does it have anything to do with norway? The answer ihave to that question, though seem unrealistic is a big "NO". As i mentioned, norway isn't a place suited for someone like me. It is more suitable for positive minded people who are self-confident, proud and motivated. All four of these qualities which i lack considerably.

What i love about norway is the fact thateven though the weather is cold you'll never find it difficult to findawarm smile from people working in theopposite direction.They aregood people. Well most of them. I wouldn't blame them for not smiling at my face, but I do appreciate the warmth of the smile, nodding of the head and the salutes given away during interaction with strangers.

Another problem is the work culture here. Having been working in multiple parts of asia, i am used to enjoy working under pressure. Pressure is what helps me prioritize. Here there is no pressure. That makes me lose direction in everything. I'm just not at all used to it. The life outside work is more important than work. Of course itshould be that way. I ain't contradicting having a life here. The point is I'm already a fish out of the water and the last thing i need is the glowing hot sun evaporating the watercontent from my body.  And that is exactly the situation, that of fish out of the water on a hot tropical beach during hot midsummer day at noon time.

Hopefully i'll get out of it.. whether i'll be able to jump back into the water or the tide will rise to save me is a question only time can answer. you never knowmay bei will leave to breathe from atmosphere. let us see what happens.

Fingers crossed.... Thanks for reading...
Adios
Thakkudu.

Norway!.... Moving Here

After a long time, when i'm writing this post a lot of things have changed. when i wrote the last one i was around in Singapore. Now i have moved around 58 degrees of latitude North and 93 degrees of longitude West. A lot of choices have been made. Did i do the right ones? Only time will tell. But then I thought may be if i take the time to note it down, might help somebody understand a fewpoints and make a few decisions. I wouldn't say that this post has no other motivations other than reopening the blog like doffing a few rumours and doubts from the minds of people around.

I have a reasonable doubt how to structure this post and how can i convey everything i want to convey in a single post. Where to start and where to end still eludes me, but i have to start now anyways. 

Was moving to norway an easy decision to make? No... not really. ... Everybody thinks "What do you have to worry about when you have a staggering paycheck?" and everybody wants to jump into the ship. Little do people realise the hardships beyond the converted value of the paycheck. The paycheck in my humble opinion doesn't probably mean anything beyond the converted value that can go on matrimonial profile with a star value. People just think "He must be making tons of money. Lucky Bastard. How can i get a job like that( Please Don't take this personally if you have asked me this question. Not intended at anyone, it is very generic and you are not alone) "  To everyone here, i just want to tell "Once again, Money is not why i moved here! There is something called 'Quality of life'. This is a nice place to live." Like 'with great power, comes great responsibilities',  'with better Quality of life, comes greater expenses'.

Another reason why I moved here is i wanted to see Europe, brilliantly placed in Schengen visa agreement, is this one and only one country for which my job experience was relevant in Europe. (UK was another option, but Norway is much easier to migrate with a job than UK i believe)  If i had a choice, i wouldn't have moved to Norway. This doesn't mean i have something against norway. If i could choose, Germany would have been my number one choice. Probably because of the Automobile fame. The name which has always been impressive throughout the history of the world in last century is Germany. Norway was always a silent spectator. It had been godforsaken before the onset of the big money and the discovery of huge reserves of Oil in the Northsea. At least that is what i have heard. Not sure i have known much about norway before i started working in Oil & Gas. This is just the impression you have from outside.

So how do i find Norway. What i'm really impressed with Norway is the culture of the people around here. The people are not hard to mingle with. Very friendly people and as my couple of groups of IIM eurotrippers say "it is safest place to live in whole of europe". I surprisingly discover from their accounts that europe isn't all that cheerful place you imagine when you are back in India. But i dare to say norway at least is and at least till they came around i thought europe was all like that. This is a safe place, nice place if you want to raise a kid safe and sound this might be the place you are looking for. The attitude of the people is what makes it safer.  When i rewind, I can say singapore is one of the safer places in asia, But the fundamental difference between singapore and norway is that, the norwegian safety is part of their culture and in singapore it is more of an induced, policed discipline.

Language here is not a hard barrier, because most people here know English. Not at all hard to communicate, but if you are here for long it is good to know Norsk or Norwegian as the english say it. The language is similar to english and not a hard one to learn as far as i have ventured. (Disclaimer: I haven't ventured much beyind the bare basics and i'm not resposible for any hardships caused) Communication is much better and easier around knowing norsk because all signs and writing you will only find in the Norsk mostly and even shopping you probably don't get very many english description of products on the back. Mutliple languages are limited to the Scanduinavian languages. What is the big worry in the era of Google translate anyways?

Weather, as you can imagine the Land of midnight sun is no way easy. Even living at the southern norway. It gets dark very easily and it's already cold in november and the winter temperature peaks in -20's (that's all hearsay anyways, but accurate) and hence the winter so harsh, summer usually pleasant with long sunny cool days, best of which i missed sitting around in India. but then it is something i don't regret.. everybody deserves a break from work. Travelling 8,500 km with no strings attahced and seeing a lot of friends would never happen like that ever again. That was so much fun.

The topic is drifting, and nothing much more to say...  After all this do you think i'm happy with this? I have things that i miss.I have to adjust to an entirely different culture, a different way from the life i have known for last four years with regards to work.. Immigrating myself, becoming a NRI, leaving India and a lot of friends behind..  There is a lot of challenges which i face which at times make me think, whether i did it right. Then there are things that come around and pat you on your shoulder, and say "All is well". I would leave it for time to tell... but there is definitely a lot of light at the end of the tunnel

More to follow... Hopefully...