It has been a while since i looked back at this blog. It is not the lack of time. It is rather the lack of peace that kept me from doing that. There are things that bother me a lot. There are things that keep me up. There are things that drag me down. there are things that nudge me eitherways.
I'm in a situation that many yearn, a few achieved. Still why am I not happy? I think i judged a few things wrongly. I judged a few things might be easy, but it was never. I wonder anybody reading this is concerned about it other than me.
The first and foremost thing i learned from my six months in norway is that immigration into a different culture is not fit for a social parasite like me. In india, travelling was never hard for me.. That kept me from being a parasite of the same set of people. I always had numbers to call and couches and beds to stay in most of the places in India. Now that i left India and is all alone in this alien country. I feel the loneliness. I'm ashamed of being a social parasite like before,because the lack of network i have here.
Winter was fun with a bit of skiing, a bit of snowboarding. It is nothing great, but it was me trying to fit in,making a fool of myself in front of everybody else. But then as time passes the feeling that i don't fit in here is just increasing. The thought about going back and settling into having a quiet life is increasing. For the winter, i have been trying to fit in. Now i'm starting to feel that i don't belong here.
The trip back to india was just a reminder how easy, how fun it was to be there. I'm exploring opportunities and trying to come up with ideas as to what to do and how to do it. Walking a lot, getting a cycle, welcoming the spring is what i'm doing now, trying to keep myself busy. Yes, I'm lonely. Why so_ becauseI'm someone with a lot of special needs and comfort zones for myself. I don't like to be out of those comfort zones.
Does it have anything to do with norway? The answer ihave to that question, though seem unrealistic is a big "NO". As i mentioned, norway isn't a place suited for someone like me. It is more suitable for positive minded people who are self-confident, proud and motivated. All four of these qualities which i lack considerably.
What i love about norway is the fact thateven though the weather is cold you'll never find it difficult to findawarm smile from people working in theopposite direction.They aregood people. Well most of them. I wouldn't blame them for not smiling at my face, but I do appreciate the warmth of the smile, nodding of the head and the salutes given away during interaction with strangers.
Another problem is the work culture here. Having been working in multiple parts of asia, i am used to enjoy working under pressure. Pressure is what helps me prioritize. Here there is no pressure. That makes me lose direction in everything. I'm just not at all used to it. The life outside work is more important than work. Of course itshould be that way. I ain't contradicting having a life here. The point is I'm already a fish out of the water and the last thing i need is the glowing hot sun evaporating the watercontent from my body. And that is exactly the situation, that of fish out of the water on a hot tropical beach during hot midsummer day at noon time.
Hopefully i'll get out of it.. whether i'll be able to jump back into the water or the tide will rise to save me is a question only time can answer. you never knowmay bei will leave to breathe from atmosphere. let us see what happens.
Fingers crossed.... Thanks for reading...
Adios
Thakkudu.
I'm in a situation that many yearn, a few achieved. Still why am I not happy? I think i judged a few things wrongly. I judged a few things might be easy, but it was never. I wonder anybody reading this is concerned about it other than me.
The first and foremost thing i learned from my six months in norway is that immigration into a different culture is not fit for a social parasite like me. In india, travelling was never hard for me.. That kept me from being a parasite of the same set of people. I always had numbers to call and couches and beds to stay in most of the places in India. Now that i left India and is all alone in this alien country. I feel the loneliness. I'm ashamed of being a social parasite like before,because the lack of network i have here.
Winter was fun with a bit of skiing, a bit of snowboarding. It is nothing great, but it was me trying to fit in,making a fool of myself in front of everybody else. But then as time passes the feeling that i don't fit in here is just increasing. The thought about going back and settling into having a quiet life is increasing. For the winter, i have been trying to fit in. Now i'm starting to feel that i don't belong here.
The trip back to india was just a reminder how easy, how fun it was to be there. I'm exploring opportunities and trying to come up with ideas as to what to do and how to do it. Walking a lot, getting a cycle, welcoming the spring is what i'm doing now, trying to keep myself busy. Yes, I'm lonely. Why so_ becauseI'm someone with a lot of special needs and comfort zones for myself. I don't like to be out of those comfort zones.
Does it have anything to do with norway? The answer ihave to that question, though seem unrealistic is a big "NO". As i mentioned, norway isn't a place suited for someone like me. It is more suitable for positive minded people who are self-confident, proud and motivated. All four of these qualities which i lack considerably.
What i love about norway is the fact thateven though the weather is cold you'll never find it difficult to findawarm smile from people working in theopposite direction.They aregood people. Well most of them. I wouldn't blame them for not smiling at my face, but I do appreciate the warmth of the smile, nodding of the head and the salutes given away during interaction with strangers.
Another problem is the work culture here. Having been working in multiple parts of asia, i am used to enjoy working under pressure. Pressure is what helps me prioritize. Here there is no pressure. That makes me lose direction in everything. I'm just not at all used to it. The life outside work is more important than work. Of course itshould be that way. I ain't contradicting having a life here. The point is I'm already a fish out of the water and the last thing i need is the glowing hot sun evaporating the watercontent from my body. And that is exactly the situation, that of fish out of the water on a hot tropical beach during hot midsummer day at noon time.
Hopefully i'll get out of it.. whether i'll be able to jump back into the water or the tide will rise to save me is a question only time can answer. you never knowmay bei will leave to breathe from atmosphere. let us see what happens.
Fingers crossed.... Thanks for reading...
Adios
Thakkudu.
1 comment:
That was some experience man !..
Post a Comment