To all my friends.. :)

Today is the 1st of July 2019. Three years ago this day, I landed in Cochin international airport back from a trip across Europe after my job as a happy go lucky fellow who cared  about anything, who wanted to live a impromptu life with no goals and no targets.  There was always a small dream of  returning to Europe and living there. But nothing solid. I was just a live as I go guy. Life has not been easy ever since. It has been tough. I know this because, I wish i could roll back this 3 years and start a different life. Somewhere along the way,I lost my thoughts and everything I ever had and everything I gained in between.

I am not saying I did not have a happy time. I am just saying that, it had been tough. The roller coaster of life had enough exciting ups and depressing downs but the general trend of life has been downwards. I cannot forget the entirely new set of friends and acquaintances I got during the last few years and each one of the trips I had and the travels in between which i have been throwing up on Whatsapp statuses. It was always a good experience and I appreciate all the warm gestures of friendship you guys made. That has kept me floating out here. I do not think, I can do this much further though. It was all good till date. I think it would unfair for me to try troubling you guys further. However meaningless my life is turning out to be, I will try my best to be a person who doesnt disturb anyone. I request you not to think that I was leeching on  you guys till date. But I do not understand life anymore. I think, I have lost in my pursuit of happiness and just troubled all my friends unnecessarily.

I cannot forget the people who helped me through this past. I know I have been dependent on a few friends to the extend that you guys think I am just a disturbance. I am starting to not get called back, which is sad for me. I want to apologize, if you ever felt that I am just trouble. I didn't mean it. I would have tried to help you and get disturbed if the positions are reversed. I am thankful for every help and sorry for every moment, I barged on to you. I promise you that I will try to not forget whatever you did for me and I will try my best if an opportunity comes by to do you a favour. Just do let me know and ask if I can help whenever you catch a hold of me.

I still have a few help request to make and later write a few detailed thank you notes out here. Just wanted to say I would appreciate if you remember me as a good friend and as someone who cared about  you. I will miss you all, but I do not want to  trouble you further. I am taking a sabbatical from all friendships because I am turning out to be nothing  but a leech in getting help and not doing anything.

Adios! Hasta la Vista!
Daniel

Life: The good things

It is not always that I drop around to scribble nowadays,but not as rarely as the state of the blog suggests.There are a few incomplete posts that lie along in the drafts section and the few other depressing reads strewn over the World wide Web.

Life has not been very great lately. Things have been going away from plans, wishes and dreams. I do not know, what all i can be happy about.

But then since the last post life has had a lot of things happening.  Life has changed a lot. The life is too crazy sometimes. Last time i wrote something here, I was sitting comfortably at my "rented" home in Norway and now i am back in beautiful Kerala in the comfort of my home. But comparing the two situation hardly does justice to the time that passed.The twist and turns of things that happened is simply overwhelming.

It was reaching the midsummer of 2015, around 1 year after the last post. The Oil industry i have been working was starting to show the troubles of a low oil price and things weren't looking good. The boredom of the job not turning out as exciting as expected was reaching its paramount places and though not really a big problem, light feel of racism was starting to hamper the life I had. Why so is a complicated answer that remains with me. Well so the trouble was brewing already.

In late 3rd quarter, the news finally broke that I will be let go at the end of the year and what i would have would be the the right to stay in Europe for another 6 months to look for a job. Since 6 years in an engineering job and 3 countries had really killed my interest in a job right then, I decided it was best to utilize that 6 months visa to travel Europe and then return to India and think about an MS later because i needed a break. 

So began an exciting phase of life, unchecked unhinged traveling, meeting people, seeing places across Europe.  The times passed quite quickly and i had been to places never heard of before, done things exotic for an average person and met some amazing people on the road. Then was the hard phases. On July the 1st of 2016, I was in India, jobless, no direction in life, nothing to look forward to other than that i am at my home comfortably.

So the idea that comes ahead next is the to do a Masters. While my idea was like, go back to Europe, a life i was quite a fan of, and i place i never got tired of travelling. What i had in my mind was a 1 year sabbatical travelling India and brushing up stuff a bit and then go after a masters in europe. But then now i was back in India, within hand's reach of my parents and all my plans kind of fell apart and i was doing a masters  in a place near my home hardly 1 month after i landed and a week long short trip to meet friends. Oh well, i did not want to fight against my parents and follow my heart. Do I regret that decision here and there. But then I chose to accept their decision and try to find maximum leeway as i can in the framework. So decision was travel a bit here and there, finish masters and go further. 

Now life never comes as it plans right. But life has not been entirely boring. 2 years after it, the masters thesis being completed. Riding to Bangalore and Hogenakkal in a bike, surviving an accident from the motorbike and adding a plate of titanium to my hand, traveling to Bhutan, Attending a Palliative Care Conference,  Roaming around and exploring thrissur, the cultural capital of Kerala, Having a lot of friends and few fans of a life lived, among other things. 

But eventually I am stuck, I feel imprisoned somewhere i should never have chosen. But I have no regrets. Right now the effort is to break free from a situation i myself created because i decided to relax a bit. Is Life fun right now? No, not really. to paraphrase a friend of mine, I have become a person who was a high flyer, who had a life worth envying to a miserable failure in  many ways and he did not know half the things, I was feeling miserable about. 

Anyways, i think the time is coming. At least i hope there is some light at the end of this dark tunnel i am in, though i do not see much.  But hoping for that miracle to save my life,  and this is somewhere i will try to drop by more often. :)

So let us see

Norge-III: 1 year and counting

It has been an year since I moved to Norway. After a year, how I feel is not as good as I imagined when i decided to leave the home country and go packing a year and 4 months before. I thought it would be easy.  I was hopeful. It was an adventure I wanted to try for it felt great to imagine. I had great expectations.  Guess I have to quote shakespeare and mention I agree 100%  "Expectations are the root of all heartache".  There is nothing much i can do about it.  Yes, Norway was just another country. It wasn't the exceptional paradise of a country which I was hoping for. The difference that was expected was not there and the difference that was unexpected was hard to digest.  It is not a bad thing. But not getting what you seek disappoints you. Not being able to  accept what you get disheartens you.

Of course, The cold-hearted Viking land can sap out your mental strength like anything, especially if you are trying to fit in. It is a hard place to try fitting in especially when you don't look like anything that will easily fit in. The problem with trying to fit in a lot is that you start to loose out on what you have and will not get to where you are trying to. You will find yourself lost in wilderness, like the person in "The Terminal" having gotten off the plane and being able to get out of the airport. In a culture you don't understand, which wouldn't easily take you in surviving can be hard.

When i packed my bags to Norway, I was confident I can fit in. Being half a sociophile, I was confident adjusting to Norway would be breeze. But it was not meant to be. The thing about norway is it has grown up against a lot of challenges and the culture has grown itself a shell to survive the difficulties like it's climate.geography, climate and what not. The shell itself has made them reserved. I find it hard to adjust to that attitude. To converse freely with a person when you are talking to him at work and to not even say a hi when you meet someone outside work related meeting. I cannot understand it at all. It is as if they maintain two worlds seperate from eachother. One work and One life. May be the lack of life because i have been working so much in Asia where it is not important has made me unable to comprehend the idea, but it is not something I can adapt with. It is hardly few familiar faces i see in this world. I would love to see a familiarity whenever i meet that person again. I guess the problem with me is I'm not a good adaptable person. I have my own stubbornness in understanding and adapting. I cannot lose myself adapting to surroundings. I have my individuality. It may be my blessing, my curse.

I would assume my shoes is what a lot of people can just dream of,  but as it is human nature, I cannot be satisfied with what I already have. It is definitely worth living however bad I feel about it. I have had a lot of fun over the last year, a week in spain, a weekend in Dubai, a day in Doha, couple of weeks in Brasil, a few trips inside Norway has always been lighting up my life occassionally. These fireworks that light up my life is better and bigger than before. It is something i will not have achieved unless I had ventured out here.  But it is not what i miss.. What i miss is the people i had around who lit up my life everyday no matter how little it was. It is the moments of little light in a dark room i miss. It is the darkness i fear.  It is that moments of darkness that disheartens me. I am looking for that candle that can light up the room, which I cannot find.

The question that keeps me wondering now.. is that whether i should give-up and try something else or keep trying. As a matter of fact, I do not know yet. A part of my heart is willing to give everything up and go searching for a new horizon may be a different venture , whereas other part of my heart inspires me stating all the facts and things i have pondered to keep trying, inspiring and thinking that i will get  better as I'm subjecting myself to a very hard phase in life by exporting myself into a culture unknown. May be it is just that part of my heart thinks that the other option is option is too much of a risk or may be it is right. I stand perplexed what i should do. Should i quit or just keep trying to adjust to it is a question that bothers me everytime. Only time will tell. I'm hoping it will tell.

This is dedicated to some people who have helped me keep positive providing that small sparks of light in the darkness that keeps me going...  and I wish that i get the mental strength to make my life extraordinary!!! :)

Tchau
 

Norway!.... Moving Here

After a long time, when i'm writing this post a lot of things have changed. when i wrote the last one i was around in Singapore. Now i have moved around 58 degrees of latitude North and 93 degrees of longitude West. A lot of choices have been made. Did i do the right ones? Only time will tell. But then I thought may be if i take the time to note it down, might help somebody understand a fewpoints and make a few decisions. I wouldn't say that this post has no other motivations other than reopening the blog like doffing a few rumours and doubts from the minds of people around.

I have a reasonable doubt how to structure this post and how can i convey everything i want to convey in a single post. Where to start and where to end still eludes me, but i have to start now anyways. 

Was moving to norway an easy decision to make? No... not really. ... Everybody thinks "What do you have to worry about when you have a staggering paycheck?" and everybody wants to jump into the ship. Little do people realise the hardships beyond the converted value of the paycheck. The paycheck in my humble opinion doesn't probably mean anything beyond the converted value that can go on matrimonial profile with a star value. People just think "He must be making tons of money. Lucky Bastard. How can i get a job like that( Please Don't take this personally if you have asked me this question. Not intended at anyone, it is very generic and you are not alone) "  To everyone here, i just want to tell "Once again, Money is not why i moved here! There is something called 'Quality of life'. This is a nice place to live." Like 'with great power, comes great responsibilities',  'with better Quality of life, comes greater expenses'.

Another reason why I moved here is i wanted to see Europe, brilliantly placed in Schengen visa agreement, is this one and only one country for which my job experience was relevant in Europe. (UK was another option, but Norway is much easier to migrate with a job than UK i believe)  If i had a choice, i wouldn't have moved to Norway. This doesn't mean i have something against norway. If i could choose, Germany would have been my number one choice. Probably because of the Automobile fame. The name which has always been impressive throughout the history of the world in last century is Germany. Norway was always a silent spectator. It had been godforsaken before the onset of the big money and the discovery of huge reserves of Oil in the Northsea. At least that is what i have heard. Not sure i have known much about norway before i started working in Oil & Gas. This is just the impression you have from outside.

So how do i find Norway. What i'm really impressed with Norway is the culture of the people around here. The people are not hard to mingle with. Very friendly people and as my couple of groups of IIM eurotrippers say "it is safest place to live in whole of europe". I surprisingly discover from their accounts that europe isn't all that cheerful place you imagine when you are back in India. But i dare to say norway at least is and at least till they came around i thought europe was all like that. This is a safe place, nice place if you want to raise a kid safe and sound this might be the place you are looking for. The attitude of the people is what makes it safer.  When i rewind, I can say singapore is one of the safer places in asia, But the fundamental difference between singapore and norway is that, the norwegian safety is part of their culture and in singapore it is more of an induced, policed discipline.

Language here is not a hard barrier, because most people here know English. Not at all hard to communicate, but if you are here for long it is good to know Norsk or Norwegian as the english say it. The language is similar to english and not a hard one to learn as far as i have ventured. (Disclaimer: I haven't ventured much beyind the bare basics and i'm not resposible for any hardships caused) Communication is much better and easier around knowing norsk because all signs and writing you will only find in the Norsk mostly and even shopping you probably don't get very many english description of products on the back. Mutliple languages are limited to the Scanduinavian languages. What is the big worry in the era of Google translate anyways?

Weather, as you can imagine the Land of midnight sun is no way easy. Even living at the southern norway. It gets dark very easily and it's already cold in november and the winter temperature peaks in -20's (that's all hearsay anyways, but accurate) and hence the winter so harsh, summer usually pleasant with long sunny cool days, best of which i missed sitting around in India. but then it is something i don't regret.. everybody deserves a break from work. Travelling 8,500 km with no strings attahced and seeing a lot of friends would never happen like that ever again. That was so much fun.

The topic is drifting, and nothing much more to say...  After all this do you think i'm happy with this? I have things that i miss.I have to adjust to an entirely different culture, a different way from the life i have known for last four years with regards to work.. Immigrating myself, becoming a NRI, leaving India and a lot of friends behind..  There is a lot of challenges which i face which at times make me think, whether i did it right. Then there are things that come around and pat you on your shoulder, and say "All is well". I would leave it for time to tell... but there is definitely a lot of light at the end of the tunnel

More to follow... Hopefully...

Tioman islands: A Photolog of a memorable journey

This is an attempt to photo-log my trip to the aforementioned islands, which i have already fallen in love with. This post should be ridiculously long with the all the picdtures in them. You can read a text version HERE. 

Tioman is a place I feel, I should go a couple of times more at least, with some extra days or weeks in my pocket.  This post is dedicated to Harish, Sreehari, Shahabaz and Paul Jose. If this post ever sees light, which I sincerely hope it will. 

As always the trip begins with someone who has been there.  This time around it was Harish who had been there. I have heard about this island for quite a while from this guy and that it has been the most amazing place he has ever been. I kind of hoped everything was true. After two days I can just tell it was very very true. Here I would like to express my sincere gratitude to Harish for introducing the place to us and to Paul for receiving what Harish said in full with extreme enthusiasm and inspiring the people around for a trip.

Then there should be someone who is interested in organizing it and with some enthusiasm for a weekend hangout.  There was a couple of colleagues that way too. So it happened. Here the thanks goes to Sreehari and Shahabaz.  The trip was planned out in meticulous detail, ever closer than i have ever seen a trip planned, even more than the planning of one of the trips i enjoyed most, the trip to the Himalayas by one of the people whom i believe can plan the best. But still it doesn't beat the latter in execution for many reasons which shall be purposefully omitted, because it isn't that significant and is rather personal preferences and this doesn't make it a bad trip. It just didn't make it all the way up the top. Just a little bit below. But works for me. :) No worries there.

 So it was saturday morning, the van(since we were 9 in all) was intended to leave at 3:00 am so that we complete the 2 hour journey and immigration from Singapore to Malaysia and be off for the first ferry that leaves to the island. All thanks of scheduling and planning to Shahabaz, execution worked out pretty well.We started off by 3:15 I think. Then a quick breeze through Singapore-Malaysia immigration and we were travelling quickly towards our destination enjoying within the van.

Venki... rocking as always... Sreehari.. blinded by flash as always (Photo: Ankit)

One of Paul's priceless expression's

Everything was going good like that, then I found myself in a familiar situation, owing to the odd timing we chose for the journey. The driver was starting to tire out and sleep off. That was a curse of the timing, when it got scary enough, we asked the driver to stop if you are sleepy. He also understood and the next place we stopped and driver went on for a power nap and everybody went out stretched out and went out for a photography session that resulted in these ;)

Photographer Gary is so proud of his achievement and Ankit is looking amused.

Stopped transport is always a photography opportunity..

 

The big organiser.... Note the hand position

Now you know why i asked you to note the hand position

Sreehari, Prerna and Ankit :)

 After that people were pretty tired and from the early morning awakening, the next one hour i didn't hear anything. Probably everyody was in the sweet slumber already.  I took the liberty of trying to keep the driver awake by starting a conversation with the driver. Talking with him and sharing a chat i managed to keep him awake for most of the journey and by the time sleep came again for him we were safely off in the ferry terminal up in Mersing.

Mersing at last and the wait for the ferry!!!

Then we got the previously arranged tickets and waited in the queue for a while and we boarded the ferry for the 1.5 hour+ long ferry journey. The sun was about to rise from the east and we  were heading north-east from mersing. Then it was all time for photography for a few crazy people and slumber time for most.

The rising sun! (Photo: Sreehari)

Water droplets!! another Photography favorite (Photo: Sreehari)

Sweet slumber... long journey on the seas...

After around 1.5 hours we sighted land and the beautiful waters of tioman and it took 10-15 minutes more for us to to reach ABC jetty(moniker belonging to Ayer Batang Chalets, and the first two being the name of the place). Jumping out of the ferry was quick and we had a beautiful welcoming party whose sight we enjoyed. Everyone was admiring the stunningly beautiful waters soon and everyone was up photographing the beauty and a poor kitten around there that happened to get there. It was quite a stunning view and beautifully coloured nature not too much disturbed by it's arch enemy, The mankind.

Sight of the islands... (Photo: Sreehari)

Welcoming Party at the jetty!(looked more exciting in real)

Our ride with the welcoming party... :)

The party, The welcoming party and the ride.

Initial sights of tioman by the party

A budding coconut... in an island with a lot of coconut palms

Morning show!!:P

The view from the island

The walkway from our ride to the island!

Look who is posing with the kitten.... :P

Now once the enthusiasm for the photographers have settled it was time we go searching for the main event of the day, Scuba Diving with all the doubts regarding knowing swimming for scuba diving and all the fears everybody set foot on the path to the Scuba place.

To the place...

Proof of arrival

Now once the enthusiasm for the photographers have settled it was time we go searching for the main event of the day, Scuba Diving with all the doubts regarding knowing swimming for scuba diving and all the fears everybody set foot on the path to the Scuba place.The walk walk not far, but definitely lengthen by the hungry souls and photography enthusiasts.

different view of the island (Photo: Sreehari)

 The sights of the islands just reminded me of sweet old home

Prerna, Ankit and Niyati on  the Most popular Transport of that part of the island (Photo: Sreehari)

Gary with his soulmate :P (Photo: Sreehari)

The walk was not far, but definitely lengthen by the hungry souls and photography. Then since we were 9 in total, we had to split into 3 groups of 3 since maximum for a group was 4 and it was kind of  better to have 3 3 3 than  4 3 2 or 4 4 1. ;) That also meant long time in wait because three groups had to go in.

Scuba discovery was structured like, You have initially watch a video to give you a theory experience, Then you have a big tank in which the trainer will teach you basic Scuba diving tips, and then the diving in open water nearby the coastline. So only one group can be in training in the tank, so that meant waiting... and it meant photography and roaming time for others. So the initial group to go in was me, paul and shahabaz andn scuba diving was all about excitement and fears, and the most excited and the most confident team had to go in first ;). Never the less the Dive was a nice experience from start to finish. Swimming through the open ocean was really awesome and the reefs were good. Seeing clown fish for real (had been a fan since i saw a photo of it first, and also NEMO was unforgettable memory in that matter). and lots of fishes who were looking surprised of the divers coming their way.. Probably it feels so because they don't blink any eyelids ;). Experience  cannot be explained in words

 It's scuba time. In training Pool, (Photo:Sreehari)

 

In the training Pool (Photo:Sreehari)

All set to go open water (Photo: SReehari)

Underwater Pic. (Photo: Lisa @ B&J Diving Centre)

Returning after the dive (Photo: Sreehari)

The Second Team going in

The third team (Photo: Shahabaz)

The full team with The diving instructors (Photo: Sammy @ B&J Diving Centre

Ferrocious Look...

Onshore Photography ;) Venki! (Photo: SReehari)

 

Island Transport!

Dived with and proof provided by Andre @ B&J Diving Centre (Photo: Sreehari)

 So since we were the first group to go in we were out of the water first and we had time roaming around to takes photos across the area. One by one the other groups went in and they came back. Then it was time we check in for our accomodation for the day.

The beautiful shell arrangement found ashore

Posing for pictures

Landscape

One of the mesmerising views

 The place name was Tekek and was a lot farther down the coastline and we had to cross a hill(not too big) before we can get a Cab.  We started walking and across a hill to reach the next area. From there we had a pickup truck(The Cab of the island) and after while, when all the people slowly and lazily came together we left for our hotel. Soon after an exciting journey behind the cab, with a lot of sways and swings we reached the hotel.

The transport to accomodation

On the way

On the way

At the accomodation

Accomodation was all set and  everybody was all fresh and now i was nearing evening. Not wanting to spend an evening in a vacation spot sitting in the hotel room we decided to venture out. So it was afternoon, we got out of the hotel and took the shuttle to the entrance of the resort. This still was pretty far from the actual "Tekek" ( Marked by a Ferry and Airport).  So we had a volleyball and which was a fun thing on the beach. Time was spent having food, watching the sunset, playing beach volleyball and beach soccer and as always photography. 

Day 1: Evening Walk

Beach Volleyball.... ;)

Dosthana pose?

 After a fun and tiring evening on the beach, we started walking back talking about what to do next day because we hadn't really planned anything for the trip except for the Scuba that came with the package to the resort entrance were we will get a shuttle back to the hotel collecting the food for the dinner on the way from Tekek to the entrance. That was the end of day 1.   

Day 2 was sweet old normal sunday in the beginning with waking up at 8:30 am at least for me. Then by now we had decided we'll go snorkelling at 6 places and return in time to freshen up and catch the return ferry at 4 in the sole interest of Mr.Basheer. So quick freshening up and then we took the shuttle to Tekek and had some breakfast and got on the boat to get ready for snorkelling. Then the speedboat journey was epic and was fun and then snorkelling at the first place was a nice experience. The second place was fun. The third place we had already familiarised with snorkelling and was getting to start repeptitive. Missed not having an all weather camera/an underwater kit for my camera very badly. 

The ride

The way....

One of the photography opportunities ;)

All ready for snorkelling

 

Floating in the waters.. snorkelling

The Final Spot... mesmerising stuff was below what you see ;)

Then it was already lunchtime. Then we went for lunch at one of the beaches. It was souvenir shopping time for most and photography time and just our plans for a quick lunch overshot by just half an hour. AFter that we decided we just go one last place and finish off with snorkelling to save our ferry schedule.  The last place was really amazing over and above the three places, in my opinion. After that we pretty much drove to the nearby beach which happened to be inside the resort and alighted there and walked back to the hotel

Breaking for lunch  at a beach

The jumps of excitement: Ankit, Shahabaz, Sreehari

The return.. another welcoming party

somewhere on the way

Another view

Views on the way

.And after a quick change of clothes and check out, It was the expected time to leave for ferry already. Then we went out back to tekek, we realised we were actually half an hour early for it. Giving time for another photoshoot for me. Others were pretty much in the return mood and already out of excitement.

The part of bidding adieu: everybody is tired

At last after a lot of wait we boarded the ferry. Then I realised there was an option to stand out of the ferry airconditioning which was too cold for me, enjoying the view and the breeze of  a fast moving boat. Guess what... More photoshoot opportunities for me. After a 1.5 hr photo session in different directions of a moving boat, we  reached Mersing back again. Then we found the cab and got in. Everybody had their light snacks and food and it was time to go again.

Another Tourist....

Another boat on the way

The boat's flag

Back at the Jetty and end of a trip

Another journey through malaysian highways and customs and immigrations, we were back in our above by around 10 pm. Thus ended an exciting and overwhelming trip to Pulau Tioman, Malaysia. :)

The post had begun as a narrative and become a Photolog (Phlog??) than a narrative, probably because I decided this was more beautiful than I could explain in words. Need pictures. Could have done with a lot less probably but I thought I'll upload a lot of pics.  Hope you enjoyed it and has some comments to jot down.

Thus ends a very very long post..


Cheers
Daniel