The professional pathway.. 6 years and counting...

Being a professional was never a dream of mine... may be it was for my parents... The life had no much option anyways talking from a kerala viewpoint for a person who was studying well (by marksheet values). It was just result of me avoiding the opportunity to stand up to a 100 question and chosing to "not to chose myself" when it was important. I didn't want to chose and I didn't stand up to my parents theory for my future..

I should say the 4 years training to be a professional was nothing but just fun of life.. and learning some lessons of lesson never to be forgotten which was worth it. The life in campus with all the people around was memorable. The learning to be professional was not there, Neither was the learning to be an engineer. The "learning" was plagued by problems and learning the extremes to which the glorious "NIT" rulebook which was a compilation of rulebooks available to the rulewriters.

Due to the luck of my ancestors, or due to a mistake somewhere in the equilibrium of the world, i get placed against all odds. If i thought, life was good.. I was proven wrong pretty quickly.. just as the celebration was getting over. I fell into final and critical issue after a long break, as if the mistake in equilibrium was fixing itself.The professional life probability hadn't left me too far, a miracle sends me through to the professional life destroying any chance to escape by a hair's breadth.

Then with no much time left in the clock for joining the dream stream of millions, i get into a train to hyderabad for the first and last time till date... and reach there after a whole 24 hrs of travel and on july 15th 2009, i become a professional "theoretically". and after a fifteen days of training with a lot of things to wonder about and with a lot of things to dream.. actually kind of looked forward into the professional life for the first time in life..

Then started the adventure, an adventure that lets you lose your dreams, but still end up learning a lot. The adventure that has now covered over a astonishing 2 years has consumed mostly all the dreams i had. Reasons like my love for learning more and more and excitement to understand the technology involved is keeping me through the counting time in this(If you think it is kind of a show off statement, I beg to differ, to catch up with people who has learned engineering theoretically in the best institutes of India was difficult for a engineering ignorant like me, and i kind of enjoy catching up..).

But I'll definitely dare and is sad to say that there is a "sword of Damocles" held in its place by a lot of reasons and unhappiness hanging on top of my professional life and if you ask me why I can't tell, because only the good things need to be applauded in public. Bad things should be discussed behind closed doors.

I know not anywhere professional life cannot be too better, but it definitely be better. the better it gets, more happier we get. I have seen a lot of people who are in a worse situation than me, but generally human nature we compare it with the best. There are a lot of better things also in the world. i don't want to search for anything better in my professional life, I'm just bored of it.. I'm disappointed.. I had say after all the "great expectations" I had in the beginning is the root cause of it. May be it was a bit too much to believe the sweet talk blindly, may be i was just wishing too much more than i deserve.

Whatever After two years, I did learn a lot of engineering and lot of life and truths. But now i definitely have no idea where to go and neither do I have any idea "What do I do with my life?" and "What do I want to do with my life?".

Disclaimer: I don't know whether my thoughts felt offensive for anyone or everyone. But this is definitely my feelings and my expressions. Leave me to it.